Sam's Club

Wal-Mart is a place I try to avoid. I have a hard time dealing with the "people" that shop there, I use quotes because I am not really sure that some of the shoppers should be classified as homosapiens. I managed to avoid the joy that is Wal-Mart Friday night to be treated instead to the new found joy of Sam's. I should have realized that they are both from the same parent company and put two and two together, I have been there multiple times but have yet to run into quite the sideshow, that is until Friday night. People walking around like fucking zombies, and the scene reminded me of the cantina from Star Wars. There were freaks galore, it was hard to not burst out laughing. I had the circus theme running through my head the whole time I was in there. We saw Huterites, dwarfs, hobbits, wookies and Golum. When we were ready to leave, we got into the shortest checkout lane and happened to hear the guy working the register speak, great a hairlip. Havsss asss nissse daaaysss. As the hairlip finished with the geriatric couple, they happened to see the mother with her boy behind them, well she happened to have some of their take and bake pizzas. The old bag looked at her and said "so do you just take those home and bake them?" As I tried to control my laughter, I said to B, "here's your sign." The crusty old fuckers finally were leaving so the mother and her boy got up to check out, we happened to notice that the kid was digging for gold I think in his drawers. Wow he was really going at it. We were laughing so hard and the lady behind us was laughing too. She was witnessing the same situation. Well we checked out and started to leave. I was happy to be out of there. Well we were making pizza for supper but could not find pizza crust at Sam's, I am still not understanding how they would not have it? We decided to stop at Hy-Vee, which if you have read previous posts is like Hell for me. We got the shopping done and went to check out, we walked up to a pimply faced punk and started to check out. He was too young to scan my Morgan but no one came to his aid. Well, he had scanned everything else and had just the bottle left, he scanned it sheepishly, and I swiped my card, they had everything sacked in one bag and as he handed me my receipt, he posed the question " would you like drive through?" Wow, I thought about saying yes, but I was laughing so hard already that I just had to get out. We were still laughing about the drive through comment last night.